Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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