If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
