Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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