Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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