can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why do cheetos always look like penises
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
