There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
