i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
barbara walters just said penis...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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