i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
