I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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