I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
