What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
