The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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