I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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