just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
