Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
