hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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