Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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