It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
