Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
