Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
