She said her name was "party"
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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