I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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