So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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