I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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