we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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