I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
