Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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