I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
