I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
