I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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