Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
