Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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