hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
