Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
