Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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