It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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