Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
