so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
