I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
