apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
