i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
