There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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