there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
