Your tits are I can't wait for
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
