i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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