I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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