No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
