This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
