no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need water and some morals
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
