so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
