I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
