Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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