We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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