I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
