last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
